When we think of autism, the picture many people have in mind is still based on boys. For decades, research, diagnostic tools, and public awareness have focused mainly on male patterns of autism. This means that many girls (including my daughter and me) have been missed or diagnosed late because our differences did not match the stereotypes. That lived experience is what inspired me to create my Autism in Girls guide for parents. I wanted something practical, reassuring, and based on the most up-to-date research. A resource that could help families recognise the signs of autism in girls and feel confident when talking to schools or professionals.

Girls are often overlooked because their traits can be more subtle or socially acceptable on the surface. Many mask or camouflage their difficulties, rehearsing social scripts, copying others, or hiding sensory discomfort to fit in. On the outside, they might seem sociable and capable, while inside they are anxious, exhausted, or feeling like they do not belong. Outdated ideas about autism can make this even harder. If a girl does not match the “typical” profile, her struggles might be put down to shyness, anxiety, or perfectionism rather than recognised as autism. This delay in understanding can affect her mental health, self-esteem, and access to support.

When I set out to create the guide, I made a conscious choice to centre recent research on underdiagnosis, masking, and brain-based differences in autistic girls. Studies like McCrossin (2022) on diagnostic bias, Rippon (2024) on how girls’ brains process sensory and social input, and Xie et al. (2023) on social motivation all reveal important truths about why girls can be overlooked. But I didn’t want this to be an academic paper. My aim was to translate the science into clear, relatable language, so parents can easily see how the findings apply to real life. Instead of abstract terms, I used everyday examples – for example, describing how a girl might stay close to her friends without actively joining in, or keep a neutral expression while feeling overwhelmed.

Parents told me they needed guidance that was easy to digest. The guide covers why girls are often missed, how masking works and its emotional cost, differences in sensory processing between girls and boys, signs to look for in everyday life, and how to help at home and school. I worked hard to keep it practical, supportive, and neurodiversity-affirming – not deficit-based. The goal is to help parents feel informed and reassured, rather than overwhelmed.

This guide is for any parent, carer, or professional who wants to understand autism in girls more clearly. Whether your daughter has just been diagnosed, you are in the middle of assessments, or you simply suspect she might be autistic, I hope it helps you feel more confident in recognising her needs and advocating for the right support. You can find the Autism in Girls guide in my TES shop, where you can download it for free. If you know someone who might benefit from it, please feel free to share it – the more we can spread accurate, up-to-date information, the sooner we can change the story for autistic girls.

Thanks for reading,

Kate Coldrick – literacy tutor, educator, and resource creator

Read Kate Coldrick’s insights on teaching autistic learners.

Learn more about my work on the About page, or browse more materials on the Resources page.

Written by Kate Coldrick, an educator and writer based in Woodbury near Exeter.